HOW TO:

BE A GREAT DAD


Any guy can have a child,
 it takes a man to be a DAD.

"Fathers make a fundamental difference in parenting across generations"(Hawkins, 140).

John Snarey, who investigated fatherhood, stated, "Good fathering, it seems, really does matter. It matters over a long time, over a lifetime, and even over generations" (Hawkins, 141). The book goes on to say that, "...fathers matter, their choices matter, and the work they do in raising the next generation matters immensely" (Hawkins, 141).



I asked my friend Cyndi, who is a teacher, if she could pick out the kids in her classroom who had a father present in their lives just through attitudes and personality at school. She told me it was very noticeable which kids had dads at home. The kids who didn't have a father at home tended to be the class clowns, have behavior problems, and would seek attention in any way they could to make up for what they missed at home. She said it was more obvious with boys, but she could pick the kids out of class by their behavior after a short time.

Fathers are Important

Harold B. Lee, when President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said, "The most important of the Lord's work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes" (Hawkins, 141). He is right. If we want to have a better life today, a better life tomorrow, and a better life for our children, then the only things that matter are what happen in the home. What we are teaching our children and the examples we are, will determine who they become and the choices they make. Fathers have a big impact on children. "...fathers are essential to children's healthy development" (Hawkins, 140).

Children who have a father in the home have fewer social problems, they perform better in school, have less behavior issues, are more likely to abstain from sex in early years, and are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. This fact alone shows the importance of a father in the home. 

Roles of Dad

Successful Marriages and Families states that they believe a fathers role is to preside, partner, be present, provide, and protect. We see again what a big part in mom's life and in child's life that dad plays.

Preside
The Proclamation to the World: The Family states that, "...fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness". Fathers are to be the spiritual leaders as well as the temporal leaders. Fathers are to love, direct, and teach their children in all areas of their lives.



Partner with Wife
Dad and Mom are partners. "...parenthood was framed as a joint partnership within the context of a committed relationship between husband and wife, as father and mother...In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners" (Hawkins, 141). Even if mother and father are not married, it is still so important to have a positive working relationship when raising your children.



Partner with Children
Howard W. Hunter while President of the LDS church said that fathers need to "earn the respect and confidence of [their] children through [their] loving relationship with them" and that they need dad's "time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual activities and responsibilities" as well as provide "tender expressions of love and affection toward children" (Hawkins, 143).
How can we expect for children to be influenced by their fathers if the fathers are not respected or involved in their lives? In order for kids to respect, love, and listen to their fathers, dad's have to obtain a relationship with the child.
I love this clip! These dad's have truely partnered with their children.

             Be Present

Being in the home is not enough; fathers need to be present in their children's lives.  They have to be available to their kids and conscious of what is happening in their world. Being a great dad "requires both quantity and quality time" (Hawkins, 144). To be present is "to be there (physical), to be aware (psychological), and to give care (practical)" (Hawkins, 145). Make sure your kids know you love them and that they are worth your time.




                                                                           To Provide

Fathers are to "provide for their physical and spiritual needs" and fathers are "to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families" (Hawkins, 145). Fathers need to make sure that their families have a roof over their heads, food on the table, clothes on their backs, as well as making sure they are provided with spiritual replenishment. He is to provide them with the knowledge of how to pray, provide the example of how to be a good husband, father, and man in society. Fathers are to provide love, care, guidance, support, and necessities in life. Children need both parents to provide for all of their emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. 

                           

                                                   To Protect

From the moment that little baby is born, fathers take on the role of protector. So many times he is the one that locks the doors each night and worries about the family when he is not home; he is the protector. Not only is the man the physical protector, but also the emotional protector. 

Children need good examples in fathers to learn how to live. If children see their father protecting his own body from harm such as cigarettes and alcohol, they are likely to do the same. If they see him model good behavior, they again will want to be like dad. "...fathers can 'actively protect their children by helping them make wise choices about the literature they read, the movies they see, the television programs they watch, the Internet sites they visit, and friendships they establish'" (Hawkins, 147). Fathers have the influence on their children to help them make good decisions and spare them the emotional tragedies they many times children would have faced had they not had a father's example and guidance.