HOW TO:

BE A GREAT MOM

"For most of our history, the word motherhood meant honor, endearment, and sacrifice...Yet this spirit of self-sacrifice has become a contentious issue in recent years, making contentious the very idea of motherhood" (Hawkins, 129).

Starting in the late 1960's many women started writing and publishing their thoughts of how motherhood makes women unequal from men and takes away so many opportunities. They talked about how there was no meaning in a woman's life if she was "mainly engaged in child rearing" (Hawkins, 129). After articles such as this were posted, women were broken into two groups. Mothers who felt liberated to not feel the burden of motherhood, and the women who still found motherhood fulfilling and meaningful.

I believe that motherhood is the most important part of my life on Earth. I believe that I was blessed with a body that could perform this wonderful miracle of carrying a child and bringing them into the world. I was also given the desire to love and nurture another person. Do I believe that all women were given these feelings? No, but I think the majority of women that I know do have these desires. 

The first presidency in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said that, "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels" (Hawkins, 130). Motherhood is such a blessing. God created all of his children and he gave the power to women to carry and care for his children here on Earth. This is an privilege I am so grateful for and I cannot imagine a greater gift than this.

Why Do Mothers Matter?

Physical

Children are literally a part of the mother from the beginning of their lives. They need mom to survive. They need a healthy mother who does not drink, smoke, or do anything that would harm them in these crucial months of development. Mother is the first person to feel baby kick in her belly. Mother is the first person baby sees when they enter into the world, she is the person he relies on to feed him and love him. She is the first to kiss, love, and hold him when he is born. She is responsible to care for this new and fragile little person. 

Not only do children need mother to physically care for them, but also socially and emotionally. David O. McKay said, "Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life" (Hawkins, 131). Researchers found that the way mothers interact with their children was a great predictor of their social, cognitive, and emotional development (Hawkins, 132).

Social

"Children seem to do best when mothers show love by communicating about and being aware of their activities and behaviors. Expressing love through listening, communicating, and monitoring enables a mother to be warm and supportive while setting and enforcing appropriate limits. Studies consistently indicate that adolescents who report telling their mothers where they are going and what they will be doing after school and on weekends report lower rates of alcohol misuse, drug use, sexual activity, and delinquency" (Hawkins, 133).

Emotional

Children do better when they have a mother who is available to talk about emotional issues. Research shows that children are most likely to share feelings and thoughts right after school hours. When mothers were available during this transition time of the day, the children were more inclined to share their thoughts than they were to mothers that didn't come home until later. When mothers are available to their children at the child's convenience rather than the mother's, the child is more likely to confide in the mom and trust her with thoughts and  feelings.

 And so much more...

Mothers are crucial to their children. Mothers are responsible for the things listed above as well as so many others that are not listed. They somehow get lunches made, kids out the door for school, dinner on the table, pick their kids up from school and practices, help with homework, do the laundry, do the dishes, read at story time, get kids ready for bed, in bed, and prepare to do it all again the next day. Mom is the anchor of the family that keeps everybody grounded. She keeps them on schedule for whatever may be in their lives. Mom holds the family together emotionally. She is not only there for her children, but also for her husband.

Overwhelming

Motherhood is overwhelming to say the least. When you have multiple people looking to you every day for food, help, and attention, it is easy to get worn out. All mothers, not matter what they say, need a break. We need time to rejuvenate and compress from our hectic lives. 

I asked my two year old daughter today what it feels like to have a drink put in your hand and food on the table when hungry. She looked at me and said "good". Oh the life of a child! 

Moms, we cannot be super-mom, super-wife, super-volunteer all the time. In order to be great moms, we have to take a break. We have to take time for ourselves and step away from all the responsibility. Find time each day, each week, each month; whatever you can get, to recover from your busy life. Tell dad that it is his turn for the next hour or day, or weekend, so you can rest and take a break.

 Keep telling yourself that you are doing your best. There are so many days that I am ready to just break down and give up for the day, but then I remember to just do my best to make it through the rest of the day and that they next day will start fresh and I can try a little harder tomorrow. 

Final Thought

Motherhood is hard, it is challenging each day, but it will bring the sweetest reward imaginable. With great sacrifice comes great reward. Keep moving forward and you will see your hard work pay off. You will be blessed with children who love you. You will see your children grow, graduate, and start families of their own. You will be blessed with grandchildren and a legacy to leave behind. All of that will be because of you and your husband and the hard work you put in each day to make sure they were fed, dressed, and loved. 

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee: (Isaiah 41:10).

The Lord blessed us with the wonderful responsibility to care for and love His children; He will not leave us to do this task alone. Remember to care for yourself and ask for help from Heavenly Father. He will strengthen and help you through each day.